Frenemies
We all have frenemies. They’re not the loud critics who openly oppose you—it’s subtler than that. These are the people who stay silent when you achieve something great, who downplay your progress or ignore your successes altogether. Often, they’re people you thought were rooting for you. It’s a hard reality to accept, but over time, I’ve learned a key truth: it’s not about me—it’s about where they are in their journey.
Frenemies can be anyone: family, friends, coworkers, or people in your social circle. The truth is, when you take risks and aim high, not everyone wants to see you succeed. Some may smile to your face while quietly hoping you stumble. This dynamic isn’t new, but social media has amplified it. Now, everyone has a front-row seat to your life and an easy outlet to judge, dismiss, or compare.
I’ll be honest: I’ve been on the other side of this, too. There have been moments when someone else’s success made me feel insecure. It wasn’t about them—it was about my doubts and fears. Confronting that truth was uncomfortable, but it taught me a valuable lesson: when people project negativity or fail to celebrate others, it’s often because they’re grappling with their own struggles. Recognizing that has helped me grow, both as a person and as an ultra-runner.
In my running journey, this mindset has been essential. When you take on challenges like running 100-mile races, failure is a constant companion. Instead of letting the critics live rent free in my brain—I’ve learned to focus on my goals. Sure, if I stumble, someone might quietly celebrate. But their opinions don’t define me. What matters is the work I put in, the risks I take, and the growth I achieve.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand: if I fail but gave it my all, showed up consistently, and refused to make excuses, I’ve already won. Every effort, every setback, is a step forward—a brick in the foundation of something greater. Failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s a vital part of the process.
And to my frenemies, here’s the twist: I’m rooting for you. Truly. I hope you overcome whatever holds you back—fear, comparison, insecurity—because there’s room for all of us to thrive. I believe in your potential, even if you don’t always believe in mine.
To anyone navigating frenemies or silent doubters, my advice is simple: LET THEM BE. Don’t waste your energy trying to change their perspective. Stay focused on your goals, put in the work, and keep striving. Aim high, not to prove them wrong, but to prove yourself right.
When you chase your dreams with courage and persistence, you inspire others to do the same. And that’s how we all rise.
